I find ways to screw this relationship up, so much. Why? I don't know. I guess I have this messed up mind. Thinking, what if I do this, I wonder if he'd give up on me. He's not. But, I just. I don't know. I'm just a messed up person. I really do hate myself. But, I love myself as well.
I love Andrew. But ever since those incidents, I don't know if I can trust him.
Actually, I do. Haha. I trust him A LOT. More than he knows. More than I show him. I trust him a great deal. Why wouldn't I? He's my boyfriend. And I trust him with my life. He doesn't know I trust him fully. Because, I'm scared if I do show him trust that he's just going to go behind my back and do everything over again. Yes, it does seem like I don't trust him. But I have a very VERY different way of trusting him. I'm different. I think very VERY differently.
I love him, very much. I don't think he knows that.
